March 28, 2023, will be a day that I will never forget...

This is the day I had a widow-maker heart attack; I was 44 years old!! I wanted to write my story in hopes that it may save someone's life. Here is my heart attack experience....

A few days before Valentines Day both of my arms started to feel different.  This is the only way I can describe it, they felt heavy and almost achy.  I thought I slept wrong and may have pinched a nerve or something, sometimes that happens right?  Over the next couple weeks, the ache and heaviness continued off and on, but my shoulders started to feel the same way. It didn't really get any worse or better, it would just come and go so I didn't really think about it unless it was happening. 

I continued all my daily activities and my regular routine, going to work, taking pictures, hanging out with my husband and the dog. I am a fairly active person and feel like I balance my running around and rest pretty well.  I could have been eating better, who couldn't right, but overall, I wasn't doing too bad. (*I had been diagnosed with a fatty liver October of 2022, so I had changed a lot of my eating habits already.

As time went on its now March 2023, the ache and heaviness went into my neck, shoulders, upper back and chest. I knew something as not right! I know my body!!!  It was not bad enough to go to the ER or urgent care, but it was concerning enough to call my primary doctor to get checked out. My appointment was on March 14, in the afternoon. I went into my appointment and explained all of my concerns. I have a great relationship with my doctor so I felt confident we would figure this out.  She was very concerned as well and ordered an EKG (also known as an ECG or an electrocardiogram, which records the electrical signals in the heart), a chest x-ray and blood work in her office, that day.  That was scary but....  ALL MY TESTS CAME BACK NORMAL!! LET ME REPEAT THIS.. ALL MY TESTS CAME BACK NORMAL!! We made a follow up appointment in April, and I felt fairly confident that things were fine.

I have always had some sort of medical thing going on, being born prematurely and with a unilateral cleft lip and submucous cleft palate, so doctors and hospitals have always been a thing in my life.  Again, I felt confident that maybe it was panic attacks although I have experienced those, and this felt different.  Maybe because I am older, they feel different, or again maybe I pinched a nerve, twisted wrong, hell we are all getting older, and I don't exercise like should... anyway I wasn't that concerned and carried on.  

March 17, 2023, I worked my regular shift, came home, and headed to my bonus sisters house to go see a concert and do an overnighter with her in Lake Tahoe. She has had a pacemaker put in and knows a little something to say the least about heart issues, so we talked about it on the way to our destination.  I had been having some pretty good pains in my chest and arms throughout the day but was excited about our adventure for the evening and tried not to think about it too much.  After getting ready for the night (we were headed to a concert) we headed to a local restaurant for dinner.  After ordering I felt completely sick to my stomach, nauseated was an understatement, my temperature was rising, and my face was completely flushed.  I put ice on my forehead and neck to cool myself off, that didn't work the ice just melted as fast as I could put it on and it literally created steam from my hands and face, it was crazy.  She videotaped me just in case, looking back I should have gone to the ER then, I didn't. I had had all the tests, it couldn't be a heart attack, right?  My sister always carries Nitro (also known as nitroglycerin, a sublingual tablet, this medication is used to relieve chest pain (angina) in people that have a certain heart condition (coronary artery disease).  It may also be used before physical activities to help prevent chest pain.), due to her condition, so she went our hotel room, which was right next door and grabbed me one while I sat in the booth of the restaurant. I was feeling awfully hot and miserable, but I took the nitro, it didn't see to help or hurt it so again I am thinking, well it isn't a heart attack.  It took about 35-40 minutes, but I felt a lot better, and we went back to the room and then on to the concert.  At the concert we had a good time, but I felt off, and I just didn't feel quite right.  Again, my chest and arms were feeling achy and heavy, but nothing new. We had a great time overall and enjoyed visiting after in the hotel room.  

The next day the pressure and ache were still there, and I felt very tired, but it was Saturday, and I didn't feel it was enough to go to the ER, so I just put it off. (I HGHLY RECOMMEND NOT DOING THIS!! GO IN IF YOU FEEL DIFFERENT IN ANY WAY, YOU KNOW YOUR BODY!!  IT COULD MAKE THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LIFE AND DEATH!)  I didn't have any different symptoms and they were not getting any worse, so I just kept an eye on it and made mention to tell my husband about it just in case.  For the next 10 days off and on my arms and chest got a little worse but nothing I couldn't handle, I have now been dealing with this for almost 5 weeks. 

March 27, around 9pm I headed to bed and told my husband I didn't feel quite right and after trying to lay down about 30 minutes or so I got up. He told me to wake him up if it got too bad. I could not get comfortable, and I didnt want to keep sitting up and bothering him, especially since he was supposed to go to work early the next morning.  Around 10pm my chest and arms were so heavy and achy, and I was completely nauseated.  It would come and go off and on.  Between 12 and 2 am I had diarrhea, threw up several times and took a shower to cool off and the pain became increasingly awful.  It was crazy, I had never experienced anything like this before. 

After trying everything I could think of to get comfortable on the couch, nothing was working.  It is around 3:15am, March 28th, I am sitting with my feet on the floor bent over, I cannot sit up at all and I am crying at this point because of the pain.  My dog, Bo Montana, is sitting next to me, nothing unusual there but he put his nose in between my back and the couch, he sets his paw on the middle of my back and whines continually, at this point I think, somethings really wrong with me!! (No kidding, right?)  Animals can sense things sometimes, so I finally trusted my instincts and got up! From that point I couldn't stand up, the pain in ny arms, chest, and shoulders were so bad, I had a horrible headache and I felt sick to my stomach.  It took me 30 plus minutes from my living room to my bedroom to wake up my husband.  Stopping to catch my breath, waiting for the pain to subside (it never did), and crying.  I shook him awake and he shot out of bed and had me in the car in no time.

I don't remember a lot of the ride to the hospital (our nearest ER is 35 plus miles from our home) as I was in so much pain and doubled over.  My husband being the rock as always gets me there and checked in.  After getting checked in, they rushed me in the back, running an EKG (which came back normal), giving me 3 nitro tablets, and some blood work, the doctor comes ni and calmly tells us that I am actively having a heart attack right now and they need to rush me to surgery.  My poor husband, neither of us had time to process anything.  We kissed each other and they wheeled me away, I will never forget the look on his face.  He looked so scared.  It makes me sad just thinking about how worried he was about me.  After 21 years together we like to joke, we not only love each other but we actually like each other to!

6:04am, March 28, I am in the Cath lab (a Cath lab is an operating room with diagnostic imaging equipment), I get super-hot to the point I feel like I am going to be sick, I ask to have my blanket taken off a little, 5 minutes later I am freezing but they have hooked me up to monitors, EKG, IV (An Intravenous injection is an injection of a medication or another substance into a vein and directly  into the bloodstream.  It is one of the fastest ways to get a drug into the body.), and an oxygen mask.  Everything is sterile and they are unable to put my blanket back on, I am so cold. They keep reminding me to breath, I am a light breather as it is, as I am fading in and out, I keep hearing "Kristin, take a deep breath," "Kristin, don't forget to breath for us." I gasp for air and go back to sleep.  "In through the nose, out through the mouth for us, Kristin."  Oddly enough and as stoned as I felt, I could follow breathing instructions.  This all didn't seem real.  

They shave my groin area in case they must insert a catheter there. They end up putting it in my right wrist.  The doctor lets me know he is going to thread a thin tube called a catheter to reach the blocked artery.  They are going to make a small cut through my skin.  A tiny balloon at the tip of the catheter will inflate and push through the blockage.  This is called an angioplasty.  

I had 100% blockage in my left main or LAD artery.  This type of heart attack is called a widow-maker.  The survival rate is very low on this type of heart attack, and again I am only 44!!  The survival rate following a widow-maker heart attack id only 12% when it occurs outside of a hospital or advance care center.   I am so lucky and thankful to be alive and here!

Arteries opened with angioplasty can become blocked again so to prevent that the doctor also put in 2 small stainless steel mess tubes called stents to prop open the artery walls.  I can feel the tube going up my arm through my chest to my heart, it doesn't hurt, but it isn't comfortable either.  The procedure felt like it took hours, although I believe it was less than 60 minutes.  When I was almost awake, I was still hooked up to all these things, including oxygen, IV etc. and they finally gave me a blanket.  Again, this all felt so surreal.  How could I have had a heart attack, yes it runs in our family.  My dad had the same heart attack at 55 but again I am only 44!!

Yet here we are, I am now being wheeled into the ICU (Intensive care unit) and they are going to go get my husband in a little bit so I can finally see him.  It felt like eternity.  He finally gets to come in and I'm so happy I am here with him.  My parents have come up and are in the waiting room, only one person in the ICU at a time.  All 4 of my kids have been called and I managed to text my besties awhile later.

ICU was no picnic, they were absolutely amazing but its loud, you get very little rest, and I was so uncomfortable.  No position in the bed felt good, I kept accidentally pinching my IV line causing it to beep, EKGs had to be taken, bloodwork had to be drawn.  I was a mess.   But I was still alive and bewildered at how this happened at all.  I went to my doctor, I got checked, even in the ER the event was almost missed.  The type of heart attack I had does not show up on EKGs.  It is called a NSTEMI (a non-ST- elevation myocardial infarction) heart attack.  I am 44. I don't smoke.  I don't drink.  I eat fairly well.  I am active.  Why did this happen???  Aside from genetics and a little bit of my lifestyle, it just happens.  

Day turns into night, I have some visitors, my husband, my parents, 3 out of 4 of my kids, my bestie, and a really good friend, almost too much, but so very appreciative of the support.  I needed all of them.   More tests, blood work and EKGs throughout the night and very little rest.  

 Day 2 in ICU, same as day 1 but I had to go to the bathroom a lot more due to my IV drip keeping me hydrated.  A bedpan is not ideal but I wasn't allowed to get up either so here we were.  I napped periodically throughout day 2, in between nurses, doctors, visitors (less that day) and the noise.  Taking medication and bloodwork seem to happen a lot and testing my heart on the EKG.  The second night was hard to sleep again but I did drink some chicken broth and that was delightful.

 

On Day 3 I wanted to go home so bad, but I was still in ICU. hubby only left my side to go home, and sleep and he was always back bright and early the next day.  Halfway through day 3 I got to move to a regular room.  In addition to it being a little less loud, I had a great view of Peavine Mountain (Peavine is a mountain range in Northern Nevada).  Meals weren't too bad at the hospital and learning new eating habits proved to be interesting.  I slept a little better the 3rd night but was still very uncomfortable.  I had several visitors including a nutritionist, a lady about doing a will, and a few others that I vaguely recall.

 

On March 31, the doctor released me to go home. My pain was consistently at a 1-2 (on a scale of 0-10) and I was able to go to the bathroom, so he felt I would be okay at home.  That afternoon hubby was finally able to take me home.  The dog was so happy to see me, as I am him.  Being at home, everything makes me tired.  I get so tired doing anything but sitting.  I walk around our yard to get some sunshine and the house to get some exercise in, but it ALL wears me out. 

 

Here's where I must keep reminding myself... this could have happened to me or anyone anytime.  I am living proof of that! I also must remember it's okay and I am here and have a 2nd chance at life.  It's my life and I need to enjoy every minute of it.  The survival rate is so low with this type of heart attack I am here for a reason, right?  Staying positive is so important when something major like a heart attack happens to you!!  You cannot let it get you down.  Yes, it happened, yes you will have to make huge lifestyle changes including above all your eating habits and exercise routine.  Is it ideal? NO!! Is it necessary? YES!! If you want to be here it is. I have a new normal and that is okay!!!

 

At home I have had a face to face with my primary doctor, she is just completely in shock that this happened at all, as we all are, again no one is to blame.  I have made an appointment with a cardiologist, although they are over a month out on appointments, and I made an appointment with cardiac rehab (it was recommended that I go for 36 sessions), they are also booked out over 6 weeks.

 

I have made dramatic changes in my eating habits, including omitting all salt products and throwing out anything with high sodium.  I started yoga, but that wears me out so I will try again some time, just not now, right now I walk and nap.  I am very thankful that I have a husband who is able to support us, and I am able to take the time to heal properly and in my own time. 

 

This has been so hard mentally, physically, and emotionally. I have to remember not to be hard on myself.

 

I am now on 5 different medications, none before.  Some of which I will probably be on for the rest of my life.  4 tablets in the morning, 3 tablets at night, but I am here, and I am able to tell my story to hopefully help someone else. 

 

Eating better has helped me to lose and keep off almost 10 pounds and 2 inches around my middle in the last 2 weeks and I feel better.  Making meals is now a little challenging but with my amazing support system it's been easier to manage.  

 

Every day is new and different, and I am just happy to be here to share my experience with you.   If you think you are having a heart attack or any emergency, call 911 or go to your nearest emergency center.  Your life is too important not to listen to your body.  BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY!!!!

 

I have been reading and doing a lot of research to try to better myself and understand what I went through.  Reading a book written by the biggest loser Bob Harper has helped a lot.  He is unbelievably healthy, excercises all the time and he had the same heart attack at 51, see it can happen to anyone.

 

Remember you will be spending the next few years learning what your new normal is, and its different for each of us.  Please take your time exploring your own boundaries.  Make sure you do cardiac rehab, if recommended, it's really important, book time with a counselor, we are all mentally damaged by our heart events.  Exercise every day, as suggested by rehab... and.... NEVER GIVE UP!!  I can't walk around my yard without sitting down and resting. I am not an athletic person, there are going to be setbacks, but I am listening to my doctors, advocating for myself when I need to, and I am NEVER GIVING UP!!

 

Things will never be the same and it will take me a long time to accept that and forgive myself, but I am living the best life I can live and with time you will to!!

 

No matter how dark the day or night, no matter how big the demon, find your motivation and never give up!

 

You can overcome obstacles that you once thought would be impossible.

 

On days you fail, fail forward.

 

If you fall try landing on your back because if you can look up, you can get up.

 

These were words of wisdom that were told to me that I did not understand 6 weeks out, but they are words I am learning to live by.. all the best in your recovery.

 

"A heart attack is a turning point, a moment when you see the world differently, when you appreciate life more, and when you learn to live differently." - Danny Mark

 

As of Oct 3, 2023, I have graduated cardiac rehab, gone back to work 10 plus hours a week, lost another 5 pounds and 2 inches off my middle.  I eat really great about 90% of the time, the other 10% I do go out to eat with my husband or friends, but my choices are healthier, and I eat less overall.  I am walking faster, and my endurance and energy are slowly getting better.  I do still get tired a lot and they may never change. When I started cardiac rehab, I could only walk 800 feet in 6 minutes, when i graduated I walked over 1600 feet!!! New normal is never easy but every day you work hard, and you don't give up!

 

Cardiac rehab was the best thing I could have done for myself, mentally and physically.  Before I started the program, I had done quite a bit of research on my own as far as sodium, new food choices and options, heart disease, and more.  From day one they made me feel so welcome and I learned so much.  The knowledge they gave me about nutrition, food, exercise, the body and mind, heart disease, heart events and so much more is UNMEASUREABLE.  I am forever grateful to each and every one of those ladies.  

 

Mentally and physically having a heart attack is very hard.  Rehab taught me to focus on how far I have come, and to try not to blame myself and to take my health seriously.

 

"STRIVE FOR PROGRESS, NOT PERFECTION."

 

I am not saying I don't have down days; I do! But, I will not let then outweigh the good days.  Having a heart event at any age is not easy, but with a good support system and a good mental outlook it makes it easier.

 

Food at first was intimidating and now I am in love with healthy things. I crave salads, fruits and veggies and I definitely eat less junk!  I eat pretty healthy about 90% of the time even my husband has started eating better.

 

Overall, it was a wakeup call for both of us.  I want to live a long and healthy life, and I hope by telling my story it will help or inspire someone else. 

 

Thank you for reading.

 

"Stay positive, some of your best days have not happened yet!"

 

Kristin McFarlane